Cat-egorically Human: A Commentary about Cats by Nancy L. Ford

Cat-egorially Human

Cats are little people you know.
        They may not eat with a fork and knife, but hey, I know a few humans who do use a fork, but chow down like starving swine at a Ponderosa buffet.
        No cat would ever behave that way.
        If you don't believe that cats are little people, ask the US Marines, Visa and the Department of Motor Vehicles. My Tony Tiger, along with Leo Lion (who died last year), have been receiving mail from them and others for the past few years.
        The Marines would like the boys to join; Visa would like them to have their own card; and the DMV had Tony and Leo listed on my car insurance as additional drivers. Don't ask me how, but it happened.
        Now, my new Allstate insurance agent, Dion Roman, reacted to this discovery eloquently. When he asked if Tony and Leo were my children, and I told him they were my cats, his eyebrows raised up a little bit, he cocked his head to the side and responded simply, "Hmmmmmm … "
        Despite this oddity, Dion moved forward because he had a job to do.
        First, he had to remove my ex-husband's name from the policy. He read out loud as he typed:
        "Let me see," he paused. His face twisted up as he concentrated poking at the keyboard …
        "Paul … delete button … reason? … Divorce."
        "Tony … delete button … reason? …"
        I sat on the edge of my chair waiting for this one.
        " … Because Tony is a cat," he mumbled.
        And with an impressive amount of seriousness he continued typing.
        "Leo … delete button … reason?" "Because Leo is a cat, and Leo is deceased."
        Now I know you may not believe me, and I didn't think anyone would, so before Dion removed their names from the DMV file, I had him make a print out of the document.
       Then, like any other proud cat mommy, I packed up a few pounds of Tony and Leo's mail, along with the printout and set up an exhibit on my desk at work. Needless to say, my co-workers found it funny, except for a few who shook their heads and walked away. Those few must not be cat people, either that or they are jealous they couldn't get a Visa card themselves.
CAT PEOPLE AND THE REST OF THE WORLD
     You see, there are two kinds of people in this world; cat people and people who think cat people are crazy.
        You can identify a cat person in a variety of ways. For example, they always have fur on their clothing, their Christmas cards have a cat on them somewhere, and they have more cat food in their grocery carts than people food.
        Cat people will be more than happy to tell you about their cat's human qualities. Take my newest, Horatio Seymour, for example.
        Seymour likes to lie on the other side of the bed, with his cute little head gently on the pillow.   Being a cat person, I, of course, cannot resist acting on my urge to cover up Seymour, despite his objection.
        We cat people do that. We see human qualities in our cats that our cats try to deny. Hey, I'm not the only one. People have been dressing up their cats for centuries.
        Ok, so all you non-cat people think I'm crazy, huh? Well throw me in a straight jacket because guess what? Seymour has his own Web page.
        You can find it at http://NLFord.com/seymour.   And, if you are so inspired, you can e-mail Seymour -- he has his own e-mail address, too, and he answers every bit of mail he gets.
        Calypso Ford, who passed away a few years ago at the age of 21, was very human-like. I was devastated and mourned her death for months. But I have memories that I will cherish forever -- such as the long walks up and down the street without a leash and taking her for rides in the car to get ice cream. Vanilla was her favorite.
        I have a lot of photos and video and would be more than happy to sit down and show them to you. Bring popcorn, it will take a while.
        I love photographing animals, especially cats. I look beyond their fuzzy exterior into their big, round, soulful eyes and I see little people.
      I find it a challenge to try and capture the essence of their human personalities on film. I am often asked how I get such revealing expressions in their faces. It's because I speak their language.
        Yes, I meow and yowl at them, even in public. And if you look closely at my photos, you will see they are staring into the camera the same way a foreign person stares at you when they are trying to understand your English.
CATS HAVE ANGELS, TOO
        I come from a long line of cat people. My parents are cat people also and they are darn proud of it. There is a colony of feral cats living in a boarded up house next door to them.   So they buy cat food by the pound in those huge gigantic bags and feed them twice a day.
        Fearful the kitties will be cold this winter, Dad just cut a hole in his fancy, heated garage so they can get in away from the cold. Non-cat people would call them crazy.   The rest of us call them angels.
        Speaking of angels, ever hear of the Rainbow Bridge?   It's a place between heaven and earth where pets go when they die and wait for us to join them.
       Ginny Brancato of Fishkill, started a Web site in 1997, http://RainbowBridge.com, that is sort of a cyber-cemetery. People can submit memorials along with a photo of their lost loved one to be posted on their own memorial page. Ginny says she has received more than 4,000 submissions from grieving pet owners and more than 13,000 mourners visit the site weekly seeking support.
        So let's get back to that cat family of mine:
        My brother Keith, who is looking at housing plans for a new home, has made finding a place for the litter box a top priority in his choice of layouts. My sister Sue had her cat's voice recorded as the greeting on her answering machine. My sister Peggy named her cat after her husband.
         I know a couple who are cat people in the making. One day the petless pair was siting in their living room watching TV when a cat they had never seen before, walked nonchalantly passed them, strutted into the front room, then turned around and left.
        That was not the last visit.   "Abby," who turned out to be "Abe," now is a permanent member of the family.   It's true what they say: Some cats pick their owners instead of the other way around.
        My friend, by the way, is building a heated, carpeted suite for Abe on the back porch to protect him from the elements.
CATS RULE
        So take a look around, baby! Cats are slowly moving up the chain of evolution.
        Did you know that starting last January, New York State law requires motor vehicle drivers to stop if they hit a cat?
        You see, it seems that our great state no longer considers cats to be rodents. Drivers now must make an attempt to locate the owner. If they can't, they must call the police. Insurance information is collected and given to the cat owner to help pay for any expenses caused by the accident.
        I bet that ticks all you non-cat people off, huh?
        More proof that cats are slowly taking over the world is found at the grocery store where the pet food isle takes up more space than the cereal isle. And what about Pet Supplies "Plus" in New Hartford where cats are welcomed to do their own shopping?
        Speaking of Pet Supplies "Plus," Tony Tiger now has his own little winged-backed couch in a lovely shade of hunter green. His couch also folds out to make a bed, in case he has an overnight guest. Or maybe it's for more added comfort while he's reclining in the evening reading all that mail he gets.